http://vividdescription.com/for-a-limited-time-only-third-draft/ (an online writing workshop) Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:35:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 http://vividdescription.com/for-a-limited-time-only-third-draft/comment-page-1/#comment-19 kristinabrooke Wed, 14 Oct 2009 23:21:47 +0000 http://vividdescription.com/?p=49#comment-19 I like this version. I think the POV issues can be sorted out by turning what the narrator editorializes about the officer into thoughts that the officer says aloud. That would get rid of the omniscient POV while giving a little more depth to the officer. I like this version. I think the POV issues can be sorted out by turning what the narrator editorializes about the officer into thoughts that the officer says aloud. That would get rid of the omniscient POV while giving a little more depth to the officer.

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